The High-Five

If you haven’t noticed, Zoe has grown, and grown quickly. She still thinks she is a little pup and jumps on our lap though, Uggghhhh.

First I want to say that Zoe learned how to high-five without any reinforcement. I was amazed by that. She just liked the attention or something. That made me think about my friendships and how I handle them. Do I have expectations or do I just enjoy the attention, companionship, and friendship? I think we all have relationships where you do things for each other. It is a give and take and I believe that is good for any relationship. The question is whether there is an expectation of a reward and is that the main purpose of your relationship.

Now I can relate this to friendships, family, or significant others. I had to really dig deep and be completely honest with myself on this one. I recognized that at a younger age, there was mostly expectation no matter what my relationship was with the person. I think I had this idea in my head that I was owed something, or entitled to whatever the reward was. I don’t feel good about this realization. I have to wonder why anyone would have even put up with it. Oddly enough though when it came to romantic relationships, I was the opposite. I was more willing to give than to take. Believe me when I tell you, I let it be lopsided and was punished many times for it.

As I relate today though it is a different story. I have no real expectations of anyone. I just enjoy their company. Maybe because I am more independent today than when I was early in life and I don’t have the want or need for anyone to help. Of course that has exceptions, sometimes I just need help. The thing is though that when I do ask for help everyone is more willing and there is no tension involved. The relationship can maintain itself because it is reciprocated when it comes to give and take. A relationship can not be taken for granted or have expectations attached to it for it to survive. Those friends from my younger days, well they no longer existent. Probably for good reason. Today, my friends, remain faithful and true. Why is that? I can only speculate but I would say it has a lot to do with the fact that there is no pressure for them to be my friend. I would think everyone has that person in their life that when they call that it is inevitable that they will ask for something. It gets tiresome at a certain point and you start to screen your calls. If you are the person being screened, you might want to take a look at why that would be, just saying.

The point is this, we all need to have others in our life. We can be independent but still need to have companionship. Without expectations, you show that other person you are there because of them, and them only. Tension does not exist and when that is gone you are allowing yourself and the other person to just be who they are. Doesn’t it feel good to be you around others and know that it is okay. You open a whole new world when you lose the expectations in a relationship. It can allow you to have a real relationship. One that doesn’t feel like effort or inconvenience. It is amazing what a dog can bring to mind and teach you. Zoe has that affect on me, she just is who she is, and loves me for me. The way it should be for all of us. So let’s all go out, leave our expectations at home and build a relationship worthy of giving a high-five just for the sake of it.

Chasing our Tail

I watched Zoe for about 20 minutes chase her tail. I laughed until my tummy hurt. She was determined to catch and then punish that tail for evading her for too long. Zoe only gave up once she had caught it long enough to teach that tail a lesson and maybe until she realized it was her own darn tail.

This made me think about how I chase my own tail occasionally. I have had times when I will go in circles trying to accomplish something that just seems unreachable. There are times I will give up and never really catch that tail. There are times I try to pretend like I don’t want it so I can surprise it when I come after it. Then there are times when I will go after it until I finally catch that elusive dream(tail).

The thing that came to mind when I watched Zoe chase her tail and eventually catch it was that she just would not give up until she was satisfied with her accomplishment. There are too many times that I have pursued something and given up prematurely. I find myself wondering what if? What if I had just tried a little harder? What if I had actually caught that dream? What if I had done it this way or that way? I found that the further I get on in life the more I realize that those what ifs haunt me. My mother always told me that you never know what you can do unless you try. Not only did she say it but she lived it. Even when something may have failed such as a business, she still succeeded because she never gave up.

So here is my lesson, once again sparked from Zoe being true to herself. I will never know if I don’t try! Not only will I never know but I will spend days, months and years wondering what if. Why put myself in that position when all I have to do is follow through. It may not work out but the pursuit is part of the process that makes it all worth while. I cannot ever really know if I never really try and that is a tragedy in itself. The end result may not be what we were looking for but it is worth it to find out. We can spend our days with regret because we didn’t follow through or we can spend our days knowing we did everything we could and followed our dream. Who knows what we could accomplish or what we may find out about ourselves along the way. So today let’s begin the pursuit and enjoy the journey.

Follow Your Instinct

So on this day we went to a place called Dave’s Falls, it is a river where multiple spots have falls. I took this picture while Zoe was looking over the bridge, watching the other people walk along the trails. Zoe watches everything and is very aware of her surroundings. As we walked around the park and trails I noticed that Zoe would approach the people walking by very eager and then at times would hide behind me. When it came to kids, she was always wanting to give them licks and get pet but adults were a different story, she was very apprehensive with some, completely at ease with others and sometimes would just hide from others. It was all instinct and reading the person. I am not saying anyone was bad, she must have just got a feeling about them or something. Zoe knew when to just move on or walk away from someone when her gut told her to. Zoe knew how to listen to her “gut”!

So this brings me to my life lesson. I  have a tendency to not listen to my “gut” or my instincts. I don’t know about anyone else but I have had that feeling sometimes in my gut that something just isn’t right. Sometimes almost like a premonition or a feeling of anxiety and don’t really know what it is. I have had an experience or two where I wish that I had listened to my gut. An example that I still think of today and wished I had listened to my gut over or at least followed through with a thought was about two years ago. I was laying in bed and kept feeling like something was wrong with my oldest daughter and felt compelled to call her but because it was late in the night, I didn’t. Like most parents  I worry about my kids regularly so I didn’t really listen to my gut on this particular day. I have to say though that this was a different kind of worry, something kept telling me to just call, yet I ignored my instinct to do so. This was at about 1 a.m. and I just went to bed figuring I would call in the morning. I was woke up at 3 a.m. by my daughter calling. I knew immediately it was not just a “wanted to say hi” kind of call. My daughter told me that her fiance had died at about 2 a.m. I was stunned! To this day I think to myself if I had just made that call when I felt like I should have could I have prevented any of the events that happened.

Zoe reminded me the importance of really listening to our body, instinct and/or premonitions. I am not the type of person that believes in all the mystics of premonitions but I do believe we have a built-in radar for trouble, we just need to know when to listen. I encourage everyone to take it serious when this “gut” feeling comes on you, especially when it nags at you. It may not be as detrimental as my experience but you never really know. There is just too much in life that our sub conscience is aware of that we don’t bring to the forefront of our thought process. I regret not listening to my instinct. If I could pass along the lesson here, it would be that listening to your “gut” may seem silly at the time but it is your awareness telling you to be aware of something. It would have only taken me a moment and saved me so far two years of heart ache, doubt and regret. Take that moment to really think about what your body is telling you, follow through with your instinct. You might feel silly or possibly make a fool of yourself, irritate someone or not really accomplish anything at all but at least you can say to yourself that you made that attempt and in those cases like mine you may save yourself or someone else from a tragedy. So take that moment out of your life, it is only a moment and follow your instinct.

 

Stop to Smell the Roses

 

 

What a sight!!

Zoe taking a ride in style if you ask me. We were taking a trip in the back roads of Wisconsin and Zoe was jumping from window to window to see what was going on outside of her actual box she was riding in, the car. She finally settled on the back window, I think because she could keep an eye on us, the scenery and of course the cars following us. It was fun to watch her as she would perk up when she could smell something that was different. Zoe would first get her sniffer going and eventually would try to get a visual. I noticed when she was doing this it always seemed to be a spot that was absolutely gorgeous as far as scenery goes and she would look at me like I was stupid because I didn’t stop to “smell the roses” so to speak.

So here in lies my lesson. It still amazes me how I can learn from Zoe. I started to think about the scenery around me. I live in a place that when you take the time to look, it is beautiful. Yet, I spend my time speeding along, listening to the music, or just watching the road when I travel whether it be in the area or anywhere else. After paying attention to Zoe I realized how much I was really missing. I can’t tell you the true beauty of nature, but I can tell you that it is there to be appreciated and I was missing out. Once I began to really observe my surroundings, I was in complete awe.

Why do I spend my time in such a hurry? It makes no sense, how can I appreciate anything if I can’t even appreciate the basic every day beauty I pass. The peace I found when I just took a moment and to step outside is indescribable. To just take in the scene of a flower budding, a river flowing or the side of a hill with trees turning colors is truly amazing. I vow to not miss those moments again in my life. When I think back some of the most memorable moments in my life have been those times that I stopped to smell the roses. Without this in our lives we are just going through the motions and in reality that is no kind of life. We need to take our moments, even if that is exactly what it is, just a moment. I have to say, it gives you a sense of well being, a feeling that allows you to appreciate your life, no matter what the problems you are facing. So I beg of you, put your nose up, take a look around and enjoy the world. It is here for us!!!!

Fun for me! How about you?

Zoe went on a trip with us to Minnesota a couple of weeks ago. These particular pictures were taken at the rest stop coming back into Wisconsin. We got out to stretch and take a break when I decided to play some catch with Zoe. I think this is her favorite past time and she reminded me that play time is necessary. I think Zoe understands this basic need in life and I had forgotten the importance of play time. Zoe will stop any chance she gets to play, whether it is with a ball, chew toy, chasing the cats, or just eating my sandals. She doesn’t think about what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow, she stays focused on the task at hand. Zoe will wear herself out with play time and next thing you know, she is passed out, content!

A reflection on my own life was to figure out if I knew what play time was and realized that I really didn’t. I may stop from time to time to do what I feel is an obligation to the kids or the animals but to really let it all go and just have some fun, no. How did I get to this point? I guess the reality is that it doesn’t really matter how I got there, the real question is how do I let go and just stay in the moment to have fun. Watching Zoe play catch I think was a hint to how to have real fun, she stays focused on that one thing she is playing with at the time. I hardly see her get distracted and I know she notices what is around her but she pays it no attention. I know that when I am playing, whatever it is that is suppose to be play time, my head is on what I need to do, what to plan and sometimes even on what others may think that are around me. Is that really fun? No, not at all, as a matter of fact it feels like another task completed if you know what I mean. So in the name of reflection, research, whatever you want to call it, I decided that the next time I went to play, I would just focus on the task at hand and push all thoughts out of my head that did not keep me in the moment. I have to admit, at first even with the knowledge that this was what I was trying to do, it was difficult. I had to remind myself many times and tell myself, that whatever it was that was on my mind was going to be there still in five minutes when I was done playing. Eventually I was able to stay in the moment and really just enjoy and appreciate the joy that can come from something as simple as playing catch. I have to admit, it feels like a weight is lifted off your shoulders, the lines in your face disappear and the world suddenly feels right. Funny, I was able to appreciate the things around me even more when I got into this zone. Zoe showed me that play time isn’t necessarily about the act itself but rather the state we are in. They always say that love comes from within, well I am saying fun comes from within. Everyone should take a moment, stay in that moment and experience play time. Fun for me! How about you?

At the end of the day, friends remain!!!!

Today, Zoe was outside with Daisy and she decided to exert her dominance, didn’t work out well for her. This is my take on what her thoughts must have been. “Hello Daisy!! Wait, where are you going? I am right here, excuse me!!! Oh, so that’s how it is today I see. Well then, I will just get your attention, I always like that tail, its so fun to play with even though I know you don’t like it, I don’t like being ignored so deal with it. Wait, what the? You just kept walking, now that just ain’t right, I am coming for you!!! I got your neck, ha! Wait, how the heck did this happen, you turned that on me quickly, got me down on my back, this isn’t working out right for me. OK, I will wave the flag, that is my paw in case you are wondering. I am sorry, can I just walk with you instead? Friends Remain!!!”

So, here in lies another lesson for me. I will just say, I had a disagreement with an old friend of mine. It started as something very simple but some how turned into this big thing. I am not sure how it escalated but the point is that it did. Things were said and feelings were hurt. The last time I had talked to him was in 1998. I had always wanted to put up the white flag and just be done with whatever the issue was, by the way I can’t even remember what the problem was, and I am sure he wanted to do the same. Pride got the best of me and I just let it go. Glen, a friend from when I was 12 died in 2009 right before his 40th birthday. As timing goes, the reason I found out was because I was trying to seek him out so that I could bury the hatchet. I was too late and I will never get that opportunity back. I envy Zoe in this, she didn’t carry on or hold on to her pride, she just got on with it and at the end of the day, she made friends. We have to remember that today could be our last but more importantly, today could be that friend’s last. How will we leave the relationship we worked so hard to develop? Zoe was determined to get her attention and may have been hurt when ignored but in the end she was just content walking with Daisy whether she got the attention she had desired or not because the friendship meant more to her than her immediate need, thought, feeling or want. The lesson is we need to suck it up, we will fight, we will be hurt, we will not always like what happens but in the end we all want our friends to remain and sometimes it is our job to extend that “paw” in retreat to keep them. Don’t let the moment pass, it may be too late when you finally decide. At the end of the day, friends remain!!!!